Shopping at stores or out in an area with children is great for me and my toddler. However, it also creates a small fear inside of me. A fear around the bug. The germs. The big eww, bacterial green, mucus-like bugs. I never want my baby to be sick. I don't want the restless nights, the fussy child, and the excessive tissues that always end up being used. That being said, it's inevitable.
My toddler started with a tiny cough and it became a runny nose. Her voice was one pitch lower than usual and sounded scratchy. The fussy, irritable child with no appetite was a challenge these past few weeks. The lack of sleep and big emotions were hitting my patience button hard.
We are getting through it, taking each day at a time. Yes, I have the impulse to scrub and clean and wipe down everything in sight. I want to make sure each germ is washed away. I also remind myself I have OCD. I will have some minimal and bearable thoughts and behaviors, but I can manage. I continue to label my OCD as a condition, to help others and promote it to the mental health world.
The famous Frozen film, and popular song, "Let It Go," often is my new background music. It feels like a mental reminder that I can not control everything and I truly must let it go.
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